Tag Archives | Marriage

The Cost of Success, Embracing Your Day Job, and Living Your Dreams

I moved into the room over the garage at my parent’s house when I was fifteen years old. Complete with its own bathroom and separate from the rest of the house, it felt like I was finally growing up. I was ready for high school, independence, and life on my own. Ten years later, as a broke salesman, my wife and I moved back into that same room over the garage. The real estate bubble had burst and left me […]

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What Are We Teaching Our Children?

This April, my wife and I will have been married for twelve years. And I’ve spent the majority of those twelve years bouncing back and forth on the pendulum of pleasing her and simply shutting off. It’s an exhaustive charade that has robbed me of peace and caused me to fall into the trap of loving her circumstantially. I treasure the fact that she challenges me and pushes me beyond my comfort zone, but it grates on every last nerve. For more than thirty years, I’ve been […]

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To The Men in America…

There’s a small zoo in my hometown that boasts a lion as one of the main attractions—the fierce king of the jungle placed on display for all to see. But if you pay close attention, there’s something terribly wrong. This lion doesn’t roar. Instead, he lay silent with his face pressed against the dirt of the earth, exhausted. The breath of his nostrils stirring up the dust, longing for the freedom he once knew. At first, I imagine the lion […]

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The Marriage Manifesto

It has become a tradition for me to write a marriage manifesto every year on our anniversary. Two years ago, I wrote about the tendency for us to fight with each other when we should be fighting for each other. Last year, I brought forth this notion that marriage is under attack. Not just corporately, but individually as well. Today, on the eve of our eleventh anniversary, I stand among the wreckage of life with four kids: constant noise, scattered toys, […]

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When Dead Things Come to Life: A Story of Learning to Live by Faith

We have a camellia bush in our front yard that refuses to take root. Every season, it fails to bloom. At one point, we even hired a landscape company to replant it to see if that would restore it to life. Its sad, withered leaves only confirmed the reality that it was dying. Six years ago, our marriage was like that camellia bush—hanging on for dear life, refusing to bear fruit. When the doctors confirmed that we wouldn’t be able […]

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Marriage is Under Attack

  It was an overcast April morning. I stood in the fellowship hall of our family’s church. My heart raced as I peered through the stained-glass window into the sanctuary, catching only a glimpse of what appeared to be a full house through the blurred, colored glass. I was anxious, but I was unsure why. I didn’t have any doubt that Liz and I were supposed to be married, but with the sanctuary full of the most treasured people in […]

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A Marriage Worth Fighting For

Somewhere along the way, my wife and I let someone else define what our marriage should look like. Those one-size-fits-all definitions created dramatic expectations that grew from a seed of hope into a weed of perfection that threatened to choke out the possibility of us ever bearing fruit. I was conditioned to believe that if every dish was cleaned, if every meal was cooked, if every bill was paid, then we would have a great marriage. On the other hand, my wife expected me to […]

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