Welcome to another edition of Monday Matters!
This week we get to hear from none other than my wife, Liz.
She came to me the other day, out of the blue, and said that she had written something while the boys napped. I thought it would be a great benefit to those of you going through any challenging time, trying to grab perspective on your circumstances; especially if you have small children!
I’m so incredibly grateful for her and you’ll see why!
Finding my Center – Liz Ham
Nearly three years of infertility led me to rock bottom.
God answered my long-awaited prayers with a slight sense of humor.
Three beautiful boys within sixteen months of each other. Matthew Jr (3) and identical twins Wyatt, Greyson (2). (almost Irish Triplets!)
Our house is filled with lots of laughter and, at times, lots of tears!
Here’s a sample of things I actually said this week:
“Don’t play the drumsticks on your brother’s head”
“We do not climb on the table”
“Stop drinking out of the toilet!”
“I don’t think he needs stitches”
Waking up to the sound of monitors or to a 3-year-old tugging at my sheets would send me running 100 miles per hour throwing frozen waffles into the toaster as I started each day.
Inevitably, the time would come when I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath; I had lost all patience.
You know, those moments when the kids are all yelling for more snacks, while dishes continue to pile up and the laundry stack is nearing countertop height?
In those moments, I found myself starting to slip; reacting out of frustration.
Most days, I waited for naps and then, someone would wake up early.
On top of being a wife, daughter and friend, I constantly asked myself:
Am I enough for everyone?
Am I enough for anyone?
Have you ever felt that way?
There are so many joyful moments, but its in the struggles when I tend to feel defeated.
I needed something.
I recognized, right in the middle of my crazy, I need grace.
I need God to be my center or I will come undone from my center.
This year, my word is CENTER.
My hope is to remain calm in the midst of potential chaotic moments each day. My worst fear is that when I do lose my CENTER, I explode. The beneficiary of my reactive frustration often ends up being the kids or my husband. After a rough day, even a simply question about dinner and I see it as an insult.
I literally close my eyes and repeat the word sometimes – my short prayer!
In addition, I began waking up about 45-minutes before the kids to actually plan my day and spend quiet moments with God. Trust me, I love my sleep, but this decision has helped tremendously with my patience and perspective.
I know there will be long days and some will be difficult, but my goal is to fill my heart with the perspective of my blessings, not come unglued during chaotic moments. (tweet this)
The Bible says, the words of my mouth will flow out of my heart. I pray that my heart will be focused on God – slow to speak and slow to become angry – slow to lose my CENTER.
Then, when I put my kids to bed, there isn’t this feeling of guilt from earlier moments of frustration.
Jesus, thank you for being my CENTER and for keeping me glued together! There are moments that will test my patience and tempt me to come undone. Teach me how to expect them and give me strength to stay CENTERED as I shine your light to my children – AMEN
I feel like I can hear God whisper:
“You are enough for me!”
I hope you're enjoying Monday Matters. If you are, please be sure to enter your email in the top right-hand side of the page so that you can receive all of the post and updates! Additionally, you will receive a free copy of my ebook when it's released next month! If you would like to guest post on the site or ask a question, please do so by emailing me at email@example.com. I look forward to hearing from you! Until then, make Monday matter! Matt